Great sense of Achievability

It was last Tuesday, a rush of thought came to my mind for so wanted to doing something incredible.......yeah,i'm not going to tell what incredible thing i have done but u will never think of i will do such thing in my life if you know me. As everyone know, i'm a totally impatient type, i scare of doing trouble things, and i wanted to do things which need full of patience, heart, and strength. For me personally, i will never think of myself to do something that really out of thought for someone, totally unbelievable...because it really need full hearted and time to complete this such a great project for me.
Yeah, when this thought came to my mind,without second thought, i get ready myself to search some information related and try to ask some related information from friend as well.Ohhh, and yes,Tuesday is also the day of finish up the last paper of final exam...After i get ready for all information for the project, i dated one of my friend to get the materials with me. We took Inti Bus to Subang and so great while we reached, RAINING and we don't have an umbrella...so get wet for sure...Is no way from Subang Inti get to Subang Parade and so thanks to my friend that fetching me over there but not drop me front of the Parade and i stepped into the parade like just after bathing. After that, i start searching for the shop to get the materials and found it. I ask for the materials in the shop and thanks to the xiao jie in the shop teaching me how to start my project=) yeah!!! After i learned and done with the stuff we went to Pyramid for walk and had our dinner. After dinner,rush back again to Inti and get the bus to back to Nilai again,owh,so tiring whole day!!!!
i got all the materials i got then i started my project, FAIL, and i don't know how to start all over again, thanks to my friend teaching me...And i fail many times,but i try and try and try millions time...yeah,but after complete a part i fail again, then the material just wasted:( feel so much to give up, but i start all over again, and after completed a slightly longer part than before, i FAIL again!!!urgh,so much disappoint this time,i get lack of patience of keep failing and making mistake...i take it off and 3RD time, i start over again!!!The third time, i be more focus more experience, and more heart. Its really take me a very very long time to deal with keep failing.
yeah, the third time is much more better, but yet some silly little mistake still appeared,but i'm not going to start over again because its really takes time and is not worth keep repeating to get over the silly mistake since i'm beginner,sad that i cant make it perfect. i continue with it and yeah i feel great while i'm doing this...because is like a mission impossible for me to do this incredible project. From day to night, i'm just sitting and doing for this the whole day,yeah,my mum shock that im not hanging out around but so focus on doing the thing whole day long!!!okay,i'm not sure that it is worth for me to do this but yeah since i started i must complete it.
Halfway, i feel impatient, i feel no motivation, feel no strength and not worth for me to continue do complete it!!! feel so dead and i think why im doing this right now, why im being so stupid, why im doing the thing that not suppose i will do,WHY WHY WHY,lotsa queation marks appeared!!!
In the end,after a deep thought, i decided to continue, because no matter how the ending are, the process is the important part,this can really train my patience part, im focus and i never so serious doing things like this!!! so no matter how,i must complete it because im already half way done,yeah,so i continue to do do do....
TODAY,after a week, im 90% completed with the project, and i really feel damn great and high with the accomplishment!!! i feel great of achievability, i don't mind anymore with how the ending could be because i learn and train myself in the process of doing this project!!! i really proud of myself that i completed the mission impossible for myself!!!!
i will continue with the 10% left out tomorrow and it will be perfect!!!yeah,the project may not be that perfect that i thought, but i serious treat over this, i use my heart, my patience, my strength and spirit to complete this!!! this is the great ever stuff i did!!!
I dont mind with what i will gain from doing this but i appreciate what i learned during the process!!!
No matter how,i will doing this is all because of a reason, the reason that will keep deep in my heart...
This is a memorable things i done in my ever life!!!!!
3.17am,26/8/10!!!!
i feel great ever in my life,good night =)

寂寞寂寞就好

random mood

MOVE MOVE MOVE on...

累

-愛情裡總有些對方不知道的事，傻呼呼的用自己的方式愛，也許對方 永遠感受不到自己的愛，卻依然執著地用自己的方式去愛...，也 許這才是真的愛
-我.放下了尊严.放下了个性.放下了固执.都只是因为放不下你........就算拥有的时光，是那么短暂；能够无怨无悔地为一个人付出，就是幸福。

我累了

痛

有些痛是一生也无法忘记的
就算不去触碰
就算没有想起
它还会在心底最深处
偶尔想起
隐隐约约
还会浮现

no one

No one
No, no one can be trusted.
Not even as you read this poem can you trust your mind to understand what I’m saying.
You continue to read between the lines, trying to read my mind
And you’ll never understand me. But you will keep pretending that you do.
You’ll probably keep telling me what’s best for me,
Depending on what’s best for you.
You’ll keep telling me what I should do
Until I fool myself into thinking I agree with you.
No one can be trusted.
But I continue to tell you my secrets.
I tell you my deepest thoughts, feelings, and weaknesses.
I pretend to trust you with the key to my soul
But in my mind I know there are certain things I shouldn’t say
And I know that secrets are only safe when taken to the grave
But I lie to myself and believe that I have friends.
When I’m really not sure anymore, what a friend is.
Because your friends have other friends they have to be loyal too
So this increases the chance that they won’t be loyal to you.
No one.
No one can be trusted.
How can we love those we can’t trust?
Self sacrifice? Or self crucifixion
Blindfold ourselves and surrender to rape
I can’t make love to fiction
So I fuck a lie and fake an orgasm
Because I want you to feel like the man I wish you were
And because I want to stay in a dream and never wake up
To realize I just had a nightmare.
Then I wonder? Who is less guilty?
The rapist who takes what he wants,
or the liar who pretends to want something different.
They’re one in the same to me.
No one can be trusted.
But when I tell you that this is how I feel about love
You think it is because I’m still in love.
You could never understand where I’m coming from
Unless you wanted to.
And no one wants to understand another
Because they are too busy trying to understand themselves.
I don’t want to understand you. I just want you to understand me.
Maybe that’s one thing we could understand about each other.
The only other way I’d believe you understand
Is if you have been through what I’ve been through and you saw what I’ve seen
If you felt what I felt and believed what I heard,
Then maybe you would know what it’s like to be hurt.
You wouldn’t think its old news, when it’s like yesterday to me.
You just want me to let it go because you don’t want me to see.
That maybe you aren’t the friend I believe you to be.
But I already know.
No one can be trusted.
So if I call you a liar, don’t take offense
There is no one in this world
I feel is better than this.
If you’re phony and fake
Its ok, I am too
I won’t let the real me
Be vulnerable to you.
No one.
No, no one can be trusted.
(Eblack)

Little Miss Bad

HEY,Little Miss Bad
Forget what you should forget,
Remember what you should remember,
Learn the lesson and move on!!!!
Chill=)