no one

No one
No, no one can be trusted.
Not even as you read this poem can you trust your mind to understand what I’m saying.
You continue to read between the lines, trying to read my mind
And you’ll never understand me. But you will keep pretending that you do.
You’ll probably keep telling me what’s best for me,
Depending on what’s best for you.
You’ll keep telling me what I should do
Until I fool myself into thinking I agree with you.
No one can be trusted.
But I continue to tell you my secrets.
I tell you my deepest thoughts, feelings, and weaknesses.
I pretend to trust you with the key to my soul
But in my mind I know there are certain things I shouldn’t say
And I know that secrets are only safe when taken to the grave
But I lie to myself and believe that I have friends.
When I’m really not sure anymore, what a friend is.
Because your friends have other friends they have to be loyal too
So this increases the chance that they won’t be loyal to you.
No one.
No one can be trusted.
How can we love those we can’t trust?
Self sacrifice? Or self crucifixion
Blindfold ourselves and surrender to rape
I can’t make love to fiction
So I fuck a lie and fake an orgasm
Because I want you to feel like the man I wish you were
And because I want to stay in a dream and never wake up
To realize I just had a nightmare.
Then I wonder? Who is less guilty?
The rapist who takes what he wants,
or the liar who pretends to want something different.
They’re one in the same to me.
No one can be trusted.
But when I tell you that this is how I feel about love
You think it is because I’m still in love.
You could never understand where I’m coming from
Unless you wanted to.
And no one wants to understand another
Because they are too busy trying to understand themselves.
I don’t want to understand you. I just want you to understand me.
Maybe that’s one thing we could understand about each other.
The only other way I’d believe you understand
Is if you have been through what I’ve been through and you saw what I’ve seen
If you felt what I felt and believed what I heard,
Then maybe you would know what it’s like to be hurt.
You wouldn’t think its old news, when it’s like yesterday to me.
You just want me to let it go because you don’t want me to see.
That maybe you aren’t the friend I believe you to be.
But I already know.
No one can be trusted.
So if I call you a liar, don’t take offense
There is no one in this world
I feel is better than this.
If you’re phony and fake
Its ok, I am too
I won’t let the real me
Be vulnerable to you.
No one.
No, no one can be trusted.
(Eblack)